Recently, I attended a lecture and the woman who sat in front of me took countless selfies of herself throughout the talk.
And I mean countless.
I couldn’t get over it.
It was so distracting.
But it was comical too.
After each picture, I was sure she was done. Then she’d pucker her lips, tilt her head and angle the phone just right, before snapping yet another one.
This woman had no shame. None!
She didn’t care about the people all around her. She didn’t care about what was happening on the stage. It was the most outrageous, fascinating, self-centered thing I’d ever witnessed.
I’m not qualified to diagnose, but I’d say it was a safe bet to label her a narcissist. Anyone who could stare at herself for that long, preening and posing, so completely self-absorbed, has got to be one.
People who take selfies and posts regularly on social media are not absolutely narcissists, but they can be. You can tell by content who is and who isn’t.
The word narcissist comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who was known for his beauty. He was in love with himself and broke the hearts of many lovers. The gods, wanting to punish him, lured him to a pool where he fell in love with his own reflection. When he realized he couldn’t embrace the object of his desire, he killed himself.
Seriously, there are grave consequences for narcissistic behavior.
If you’re curious about yourself (or someone you know) take the Narcissistic Personality Inventory test.
The test asks you to pick one of two statements.
For example:
I prefer to blend in with the crowd.
I like to be the center of attention.
Sometimes I tell good stories.
Everybody likes to hear my stories.
I am more capable than other people.
There is a lot I can learn from other people.
At the end, you add your score.
If you don’t feel like taking the test, studies show you can ask yourself one simple question…
Am I a narcissist?
Narcissists, it turns out, will often answer YES — And proudly!
This is because they do not see their narcissism as a bad thing.
They admit to being arrogant.
They admit that they brag.
They know others view them less positively than they view themselves but they don’t care!
Researchers believe that narcissism is on the rise.
Pop songs in the 60’s had lyrics like “come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody come together,” and in the 70’s we had “teach your children well” (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young).
By the 80’s, we were listening to “Don’t You Want Me, Baby” (Human League) and in the 90’s “I’m Too Sexy” (Right Said Fred).
In addition, one of my own children feels perfectly entitled to eating the top half of a muffin and leaving the bottom behind. He/she truly doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
In the book, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement, the authors claim that five times as many Americans undergo plastic surgery than just ten years ago and that today college students won’t leave their professor’s office until their B+ becomes an A-.
The DSM-5 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder include these features:
*Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
*Expecting to be recognized as superior
*Exaggerating your achievements and talents
*Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, beauty
*Believing that you are better than and can only be understood by equally special people
*Need constant adoration
*Have a sense of entitlement
*Taking advantage of others to get what you want
*Inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
*Being arrogant
Sound like anyone you know?
My child who eats the top of the muffin and leaves the bottom behind just got a 19 out of 40 on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory test…
NARCISSIT POSTOR BOY – "THE DONALD." TRUMP that and you go right to the top score of the NPIT (Narcissistic Personality Inventory Test).
And yes symptomatic of modern day culture where the oversized ego is truly a large problem in that this over concern with ourselves leaves little room for concern for others and when all is said and done, wherein we see ourselves as part of the whole of humanity and not mistakenly seeing ourselves as separate and "special" is where connection is made.
So, all you naricissits hold outs – might be time to get out of the pool of your own reflection and enter the world around you. That reality is real (life itself), not so much one’s own over inflated view of themselves which in fact mistakenly seeing ourselves as separate/special, in time does create so much alienation, anxiety and needless suffering for the narcissist in additon to the people around them.
I got a 12 out of 40! Boy would my mother be surprised…
Just took the personality test. Hmm…..revealing! Can one ask a friend to take it for them?? Just a reality check!
The top of the muffins are the best part!
In a world of I phones & I pads the pronoun of the decade is I…I…I and that is what has become of the mainstream people who think absolutely nothing of taking endless selfies no matter where and when they happen to be instead of looking around and absorbing other surroundings and not just feeding their egos
I tell ya, I’m so happy to have been brought up in the 70’s n 80’s. Life was much less complicated!! I can’t imagin wats going to be for the future of our grandchildren! That’s why we have to constantly teach our kids to appreciate what life has to offer n to have much more gratitude. Spirituality is connected there as well.
Taking selfies in public is ridiculous in my opinion unfortunately this seems to be an epidemic among the teenage girls in our community
If they only knew how unattractive it makes them look maybe they would curtail this behavior
DONALD Trump!
So Corie ,,,are we labeling? I would like to hear what you would say about defining labels,,,People are multifaceted and unique ,,,,no 2 alike . I am a huge fan of yours and love awakening to your delicious brain food!!!
Thanks for commenting Linda!! I agree that people are not simply one thing and this is just one tool. As a matter of fact answers could change depending on how a question is interpreted or mood. I just took the test again and got a 9. Thanks for being a fan!!
I thought this was a fun excercise. I took it and got 14. I thought it was low for me. Try again 17 and this AM 15. So I think 15. I think if I took it in my 30’s I would have gotten a 30! In my (humble) view…There are many traits here some are very important and some are not worth keeping.
Worthy ones
Leading and being an authority (on anything..) and Self sufficiency…
Ones to leave behind…
feelings of superiority, exhibitionism & entitlement.
I think (The Donald aside) as we get older hopefully a get a little wiser & more human too.
Good mindful excercise.